long time no blog

I have to live life instead of write about life. I have too much to write, too much I do, too many funny things my kids say (and do), too many pictures, and too many projects. I try and enjoy everyday (even the bad ones) but it doesn't help much. Time waits for no one.

My brain floods with each thing I must do next and I think I'm running out of room in my brain. I can't fit all the memories in my head so I try and write down what we do, what my kids say, I make lists of things to do (which I usually lose or misplace) and I try a mental log of all of it. My mental log however fails me frequently. At times it seems that I have short and long term memory loss. So I've started a paper journal that I can jot down notes, quick things, funny things, and sweet things.

My baby boy is lovely. A slice of heaven wrapped in blue resting on my chest or at the breast. I am in a perfect world of new motherhood again.


Charlotte turned twelve. She has amazed me lately. She spent the night at her friends last night and she held a monarch butterfly this morning. Way cool. I've never seen a monarch in the wild.

Penelope turned two. She is like a doll.

Ricky brought me home fragrant red roses for me the other day. They are gorgeous. His schedule is killing us. But we are managing. This too will pass. Almost every time Penelope hears the dog bark she exclaims, "Daddy home!" Our dog barks about 10 times a day and several times a night. It's very frustrating and heartbreaking for now. More about the kids on the homeschool blog.

Oh, and have HAPPY HALLOWEEN from Penelope...

What is wrong with people + my fatter belly

Would you believe that yesterday (one week after the tree in the road incident and one week and 1 day after Ricky's tooth incident) Ricky gets his new car hit by a older couple driving to the hospital in a mini van. They just pushed right in front of him during a 2 lane left hand turn (He was in the left they were on the right).

Not only are there no witnesses (and it was too small of an incident for police to come out) but after exchanging insurance information the lady who WAS cooperative at first and said it was HER fault and she was sorry now claims to her insurance company that Ricky hit her.

His car has large scratches and paint damage from the front passenger wheel to the headlight. There is also a small dent that could surely come out with a visit to the body shop. So now it's his word against hers and we are waiting to see what's going to happen. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

This is small beans compared to our friend "Aunt" Penny (a long time friend of the family) whose house burnt down to the ground 2 am Sunday morning (August3). Everything is gone, and she has no one (but my family). NO family at all. And get this: the first insurance guy to come out to her place right after it happened had the gonads to tell her to rather rudely and coldly to "Buck up and hold it together" when she was crying. Again, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? She complained and his boss is livid at the guy.

Last year August SUCKED and this year it does too.
(no offense to the little cute baby in my womb who will come out this month...I think this month anyway!)

Belly Thoughts....
My belly is getting fatter! Yay!
My pelvis sorer. Boo!
I think I have heartburn, but it's not that bad.
Too many onions at lunch time I guess.
I have so much to do before this baby is born.
Oh geeez.

I wonder if the IRS liked this one

I totally forgot about this until just now, but it's so worth blogging as I print these entries and scrapbook them. This year on our tax return my husband wrote down for my occupation: Domestic Goddess.

One of the millions of reasons I love him so much.

July is almost gone, and trees falling from heaven

Well I have not had the time to write. Life is just bursting at the seams with other things to do. I guess that's what I get for having 5 and a half kids...

I have pictures of our summer days and I would like to share here but haven't had the time to post. Posting pictures takes so much longer than I'd like it to. (I usually re-size them all first).

I guess I'll update about myself and then update the kids on the homeschool blog today or tomorrow.

This pregnancy is going wonderfully. I'm happy, healthy, and growing. There was about a 2 week span this month where I swear I wasn't growing, but suddenly my belly seems rounder and I keep hitting it on things (kitchen counter, van door, ricky... lol). This baby kicks, and moves alot. I was tired a lot this month. I miss May and June where I had seemed to have endless energy, but I feel a little energy coming back. I have been hoping the nesting instinct would kick in soon because I have a closet and a basement I had wanted to get cleaned up before the baby is born. I just haven't found the motivation though.

Ricky is doing well but working long hours (mostly due to driving). His work is easy overall (read: too easy) when he knows what he is doing that is (he has stuff apparently they want him to do but haven't trained him in). Time wise, it's not much different than graduate school. (other than the butt-crack time he has to get up in the morning.) I will say one thing; work is not utilizing him for what he went to school for and it's making both him and I scratch our heads a bit.

We have been talking a lot however and have some very good ideas about where we want our future to go. This weekend we began to make some surprising plans and are looking at some really exciting ideas for our future. We plan to stay in this area that's all I'm going to say for now, so it's not about moving per say. At least I hope not. I can't yet say exactly what we are cooking up. I'm not sure we know LOL.

All I really know for sure is that I want my husband to be happy and fulfilled. And he wants me happy and fulfilled. Our marriage is beautiful because of this.

~~~

Last night we had a terrible storm and a huge HUGE tree fell across our road. We were without power for 12 hours and I helped Ricky get ready by flashlight this morning...

A few minutes after Ricky left for work he came back into the house and unexpectedly changed out of his suit into jeans and then headed out the door (still dark outside) with his hatchet and a busted chain saw to tackle the tree he just discovered TOTALLY blocking the only road off our hill. He could not get the chainsaw working but he tried and then used his hatchet and started on smaller branches. I walked down to him and told him he had to stop. I mean there was NO WAY he was going to get this done without killing himself or it taking forever. (The biggest part of the tree was only partially covering the road, he thought he could clear enough room to squeeze by though). His determination always impresses me. Always has, always will.

A little while later we were able to get some help from our neighbor with a working chain saw. So Ricky with his hatchet and our buddy with the chain saw made some real progress and cleared the road up very well despite the still falling rain. Thinking back the whole thing was cinematic.

<---Layla outside with me. She talked me into walking her down to see the tree by saying, "But it might be fun mom!" after I told her we didn't need to go down and see it.

I see this tree in the road as nothing less than a sign for something. This obstruction meant something.

As if nothing more exciting could happen today...Ricky had a back molar crack in half on his way home from work today. (A tooth that we neglected to get a needed crown for last year. Crap.)

Just more symptom of a crappy (Mon)day? A sign we have bitten off more than we can chew? Or maybe we just neglected his tooth long enough that it cracked? Nothing more. Nothing less.

How about this sign? What is it telling me...

I might need to quit reading into everything so much. Then again maybe not, it's keeping me motivated. We have some very serious life changing events on the horizon. :)

Some gripes about adjusting

Well Ricky is done with school. He is done and at work full time this week. HOOOORAY. Today is his birthday. The kids and I are going to get a few birthday things today and hopefully have a mini party for him tonight. He won't be home until 7 or 8 though.

There are some things really frustrating me and I'm trying very hard not to let them. For example I'm freaking sick of him commuting, already. (Well he's been doing it over a year already.) I want to move closer to the city because getting up at 5am sucks. (I don't always get up with him but I do a lot.) And he doesn't get home until 7 or 8pm. I am also already frustrated at our mounting bills (loans, more insurance, and looking at buying a car for Ricky. Oh, and $900 in gasoline per month). We have more money, but more bills. Isn't that life. We are 600 dollars over budget according to the budget maker online that I attempted to use. (Whhhhat?!) And no savings #@! Arugh...
One thousand dollars a month on food expenses (inc. cat/dog food and misc household type stuff) and then another 700-1000 dollars a month in student loans does not help things. The Explorer Ricky currently drives is costing us 900 dollars per month in gasoline (hence the looking for a new car thing). This stuff is STRESSING me out. Ricky keeps dropping quiet hints about me shopping at Whole Foods less. (I don't go that much)

Ricky is so mellow about it all though. I asked him why he's not more frustrated while trying to get over this hump we seem to need to get over. He said, "I've been waiting 10 years so what's waiting a little longer. It's a process, and we have to take it one step at a time." I love him and his positively too mellow and totally content attitude. Even if it is sickening sometimes.
:)

Well now that I've written out the frustrations I can focus on the positive; like how he got a job before graduation. How he got a good job that he likes with lots of growth potential. We are all healthy and happy and the new baby will be here sometime at the end of next month. I also need to remember we don't even have a real schedule or anything down yet. We are just starting off with all of these brand new changes and bills. I'm just not good at adjustment periods.

One other thing that is bothering me is that Penelope Juliet is making me crazy. She wants to nurse and I have no milk this late in this pregnancy. Instead of giving up and loosing interest, as I've been now waiting for her to do for at least 6 weeks, she just hangs on and decided a nursie with no milk is better than no nursie at all. In fact right now she's pitching a total fit about nursing so I gotta go. She is trying to mimic her sister and suck her thumb sometimes but she just doesn't like it or get it. So she pops her thumb in and out of her mouth and the two girls giggle about it. But, she is clearly looking for a way to self soothe and she's having trouble.

Also, the older kids want to learn about the Empire State Building and today is library/craft day... and I need to update homeschool blog with some adorable photos.

Mama and babies

I updated my website's pregnancy page today and added a new photo Charlotte took of me outside yesterday. The photo is also below. She had fun snapping photos yesterday and I was glad to get one of me in my too small swimsuit. (not a maternity suit lol)

Charlotte also took a photo of me nursing Penelope and Layla getting hair. For those that don't know Layla has a hair thing. She has loved my hair since she was a newborn (and thumb sucking). She grabs it, holds it, caresses it, twists it, and smells it. It's her comfort. So this second picture is so much of what mothering these two girls is for me, nearly a constant of me giving myself to them. I love them dearly and one day they will be grown. No matter how tired or worn I may get I remember that above all else.

I also updated the homeschool blog.

Last week Ricky's first week of work went great. He likes it, he likes the people. It isn't exactly "work" yet. He doesn't have a computer yet and he has mostly been doing reading, tutorials, meeting with people, sitting in on meetings, and so forth. Everyone there sounds really nice. Today was his first early day (last week he got to go in at 10am). School is also going well for him. This is his last week, then finals! Then done!

This week I am going to continue decluttering, taking the kids to the library, going to drive 1.5 hr to Whole Foods, going to our homeschool summer solstice party, and going to the Friends of Missouri Midwives Picnic. Hopefully it will be a fun week and not too exhausting...

unexpected offers / life

Ricky had an unexpected offer regarding his new job the day before we left for our trip. They want him in the office sooner (which meant today). He tried telling them he was still in school and felt it may be best he wait until the end of this month as originally planned. Well... he was offered part time work until school gets out --and they will give him FULL salary pay and FULL benefits. And he gets to pick the schedule around school (21 hours). How could he say no? Well he couldn't. :) So over the weekend we went shopping for some more spiffy suits, ties, shoes and what-not. We shopped both online and in store. We both had a lot of fun. It was a great weekend overall that we spent together.

Last night I sensed Ricky awake a lot. Every time I opened my eyes he was cuddled up to me with his eyes peering at me. I think he was excited about today. He says he slept well though but just woke up a lot so that's good. Finally we both got up around 4:30am but mostly because the little girls were sick and woke up. Penelope has a fever and Layla a dry constant cough. So we were really early risers today.

I'm playing catch up after getting back into town. The worst part has to be getting the kids back on a schedule. Also, I'm looking around and my house is SO dirty. I need a housekeeper. I think today I need to put the kids to work with some rags and spray cleaner. Everything is just kid-messy. Sticky chairs, table, walls, bathrooms, the desk, the floor (needs vacuumed), windows...

Later this week I'm picking up some hens. I finally found some young hens -not chicks- that are getting ready to lay. I have tomato plants that need planting too. That is really hard to do when our garden area is over run with weeds, still un-tilled for this year, not to mention I totally missed spring planting for this year.

With a feverish baby on my lap and Layla being needy I just don't have a lot of hope for getting things done this month...or this summer. At least we have some one weed eating the yard right now. It looks like a jungle. Today I daydream about moving somewhere grassy (which we hope to sometime soon). We live in a very nice place, but it's super rocky and we have barely any land cleared. (We are IN the woods). The grass is always greener on the other side though, right?

I can not wait until Ricky gets home tonight (or calls me) so he can tell me all about his first day. Right now he's out to lunch with his new bosses and probably other coworkers. He looked so awesome in his suit this morning. I hope he continues to love what he went to school for, he's worked so very hard for this.

Photos and a new job for Ricky

Below: Watermelon Belly early outside a few mornings ago (27 weeks) and a photo of Penelope washing Layla's hair in the tub.





Some baby love, snuggles, and kisses...


More photos on the kids' homeschool blog

Our family has really exciting news; Ricky landed a great job in the 'big city' and will start as soon as he finishes graduate school. He finishes school on June 26th and starts June 30th! This is very exciting. He was offered a Vice President position for a developing and expanding investment management consulting group within a huge financial institution! This is a wonderful opportunity for him (and our family)! I am so proud of him! He has worked so very hard and I'm glad he is starting off so well! He will commute (just like he has been for school) for a while then we will move closer to the city. We don't want to move too far though. We are not city people! :)

Well I just realized we leave tomorrow to go to Las Vegas. (My "hometown" & we are going to my little brother's wedding) We are not packed yet. CRAP! How did THIS happen? I better get going. Penelope is hanging ALL OVER me too and I'm feeling smothered.

I love you

Excuse me for gushing, but I am in love. Head over heels in love with my husband. In regards to him being so busy with school: it's quality over quantity. And so that is where we are at right now. Taking one day at a time and enjoying the ride all the while being overwhelmed with kids and school (both graduate and homeschool!)
The past couple months have been really bummer months. Just in general. It seems like one thing after another has happened. I hate it when real life gets in the way of my good time. However, as the leaves turn from green to the brilliant colors of fall things are finally balancing out yet again. (And I'm becoming more accepting of many changes and challenges)

We are all set into a new routine, as hectic as it may be. Ricky is almost done with his first quarter of classes and it is exciting to hear him be so positive about such a challenge. I do not know how he does it. This month he will be at school until 11pm on Penelope's 1st b-day, our anniversary, and Halloween. Which totally sucks! But we will make it up. We will find the time to celebrate on different days. Those days he's gone I'll get extra kisses and more phone calls than usual. He says he sees the light at the end of the tunnel... and so I follow his lead.

He is working his head off at school. To balance all of that, and us. He's amazing. I'm forever grateful for him.

Doula training starts tomorrow

Tomorrow I start a weekend long (Fri, Sat, Sun) ALACE doula training workshop. I'm really excited and I think it will be a lot of fun. There are several friends of mine also doing the workshop, so that is extra fun. I am taking Penelope, as she is still an in arms nursing baby. I really hope everything goes okay and she is very good. It's going to be a long weekend.

I left a card for my husband on the pizza in the fridge he is to cook for dinner tomorrow night. It reads:
Dear Ricky,
Thank you for being excited when I first told you about this workshop. It actually made all the difference to me. Thank you for all the support and encouragement you give me. Thank you for telling me to pursue my dreams of helping women and making a difference in childbirth. Thank you for being the type of man that takes care of his children for an entire weekend without even blinking twice. I could not have asked for more in a husband. I love you so much. To say I'm lucky is an understatement. I love you always, Shauna

If I'm not to tired I'll update over the weekend and talk about how the training is going.