I'm making myself post before January is over! I never really got caught up after our trip to Mexico. Everything has been just crazy. I am just taking one day at a time. We have at least been doing better with staying on our homeschool "schedule" since being back in town. It was a rough start this school year getting into a routine that worked!
This month we have been studying a whole modge-podge of interesting things like cave paintings, art, how colors were discovered, the periodic table of elements, the big bang theory, the sun, moons (ice volcanoes!), big machines, bacteria, crystals, the French and Indian War, the Revolutionary War, Rosa Parks, MLK Jr., and measurement. In addition to this the kids and I have done a decently steady job at sticking with spelling words, vocabulary, math, and reading. we are not moving through the spelling as quickly as we should, but they are retaining it and that's what matters the most. Charlotte is writing more poems and is getting better at writing, I'm getting ready to post one of her poems in her journal for her. It's SO cute! Sage is finally excited about reading! Ethan is almost finished with his 100 lesson online reading program ( http://www.clicknkids.com/) and he's doing great too.
Layla (age3) is SO busy; she wants to paint, sculpt, play with play-doh, take a bath, eat, eat, eat, make a mess, glue stuff, play on the computer, and then watch TV over and over and over everyday. This child is exhausting. She typically wakes at 7am and goes to bed at 9 or 10 pm, without a nap. She also learns an incredible deal from the other homeschooling kids.
Penelope (15 months old) is right in there doing everything the kids do. She cleans up her plate or bowl from the table and brings it to me. She insists on sitting (or standing rather) in a big chair at the big table. She will NOT sit in her highchair -that's what babies do! lol. She thinks she's at least 2. This is what I've read about other big families, the youngest kids really do fall right in line and do what the big kids do. It is easier with each child. Penelope is still a baby however, and I still spend most my time holding, nursing, and cuddling her. She is still very much a mama's baby. :) Which is both exhausting and sweet. (Especially exhausting with homeschooling.)
I can't lie, lately life has been very challenging. I've been tired and so busy (but still getting nothing done!) I'm getting by each day thinking about how my husband is working equally as tiring hours at school as I am at home. In fact I think he has it much rougher than me for sure. Each morning I think OH NO not another day of this. lol. But it's not that bad --I'm just really tired right now. Things will look up and this is the longest most dreary part of the year. It comes every year, and it will leave every year too. Just a couple more months and life will blooming and energy will be restored. I can't wait to plant our garden this year.
Showing posts with label stay at home moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stay at home moms. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
update, homeschooling, life with kids
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Why aren't you home?
I have an unpopular view about having children. It's gaining in recent popularity, but it's not the most popular choice: stay home with your child. How can anyone think their child is getting better care than they could give? Most mothers or fathers will give their own children better care than anyone.
I worked for a short time in a so called good daycare in a upscale area of Denver, CO. It was a horrible sight. The older children all seemed to have fun doing activities, but if you were in diapers you fell into a whole different lesser class category. Diapers left unchanged, thick green boogers on children's faces and dripping out of their noses, bottles propped up. Confused babies crying, the one year olds walking around aimlessly. They can say they hand-feed each baby their bottle but what if 4 or 5 need to eat all at once? Hand-feed a baby? What are they animals? "This is little Johnny and we hand-feed him on a daily basis, that's what makes him so tame."
I know some women need to work. But, in the same way that some women can't breastfeed. People need to be honest with themselves though. How hard is it to stay home and care for your baby? I'd file for assistance, cut cable off, turn my cell phone off, and quit eating out and work an alternate schedule than of my husband if it meant my kids didn't have to go to daycare. Many parent's find that a moms job isn't making a sufficient income to pay for daycare. It's sad parents don't get a tax break for staying home, but they do if they pay someone else [insert dumbfounded look here] but if you are lower income you might qualify for heating assistance, electric assistance, a food card, Medicaid. I'm not loving people who mooch the system, but if it's to stay home with a baby I'm all for it and it's not mooching.
What is the worst though are the newborns in daycare. Why did you even have children then? The detachment is crazy. I'm sorry if I've offended someone reading this but you can't argue, home is where the heart is...
Link...Newborn Found with Pacifier Taped in Mouth, Nursery Shutdown
Friday, June 15, 2007
Charlotte my daughter and the real stay at home mom
Last night at Charlotte's softball game some of the other parents were cheering for her. I heard one ask, "Is that one Charlotte?" The other replied, "Yeah... she's a nice girl, she is still sweet... Doesn't have the attitude like the other girls her age."
I stood about 15 feet away taking in what I had just heard. I sunk into my folding chair and stared at my daughter on second base. I'm told a lot how sweet she is. She is thoughtful and kind. She is helpful and tries at everything. She's the kid that replaces the toilet paper when the roll ends. She's the kid that offers me the last of something even if she wants it. She keeps an eye on her siblings and never complains about doing chores. I know she's a good kid. But, when other people notice it, particularly other mothers with daughters aged 10-12, it makes me so very proud to be her Mother. It also makes me feel successful. I hear a lot about stay at home mothers feeling unaccomplished, unfulfilled, or unsuccessful. I feel very accomplished and very fulfilled. I am doing what most modern women don't do anymore. The stay at home mother is grossly undervalued. I'll paste two excerpts I've run across on other blogs here that coincidentally coincide with my thoughts of lately.
Men have their cars, women, their kids. It really doesn't matter what else a woman does in life, somewhere deep down inside, she will judge herself by how good of a mother she is. Even the thin, rich and beautiful woman becomes pathetic if she fails the motherhood test. (Notice I chose "thin, rich and beautiful" as the standard to envy and not "accomplished career", because that isn't even in the running...or how many girls have you ever heard say "I want to be just like Janet Reno when I grow up." Instead, we think "well at least she got to be attorney general".) -Retro-housewife blog
"Motherhood might be revered in poetry, but outside the subcultures that support the one-earner nuclear family, staying home with one's child is often considered a waste of a woman's talents and education. And although the women's movement declares every mother a working mother, I'm not so sure. Because, if there is no pay, no Social Security, and no time off, how can it really be bonafide labor. Unless. Unless you're taking care of someone else's child. If you're a nanny, a teacher, a foster parent--well, that's worth a paycheck. Even the federal government will pay a poor working mother's childcare provider to watch her three year old, but it won't pay that mother to do the same job at home. Evidently, caring from one's own child is not real work." -The Motherhood Confidential
I've said those things many times, I just could never put it into such eloquent words.
Of course staying home is best, but it's not going to miraculously transform all children into model children while magically making you feel successful. Then there is the college degree challenge. One could say I am only content because I don't have a college degree. If I had one I'd feel like my talents are wasted. Not really a good example since my father didn't have a college degree either, and he has made a ton of money and has run numerous very successful businesses (and some failures too.) I don't feel not having a college degree OR staying home is holding me back.
If you are a stay at home mom and you feel undervalued you may have a self esteem problem. No one is going to value us (although your spouse should-just as you value him!) on your pure efforts alone. You have to demand it. You have to pat yourself on the back sometimes. You have to appreciate your clean house, fresh baked cookies, folded laundry, home cooked meals, and beautiful children before any one else will. Society doesn't care. People will on occasion throw you a compliment for staying home, or offer you a small token of cryptic praise ("I don't know how you do it" and "I could never do that" is praise). Who cares though, it is enough to see the results of my kids being awesome, well behaved, well adjusted, "good kids."
Finally, Stay at home moms are not doormats or maids.
I demand being valued by my children. I show them examples of parents who aren't home and what that means for a family. I tell them I stay home because I want to raise them. I demand respect and remind them of who gave them life, who dedicates her life to them, and who does the 3421 loads of laundry a month. When I ask for help I expect common courtesy and immediate help. I deserve it. We talk about what it means that I stay home. We even talk about the difference between home cooked meals and frozen dinners/fast food. My family values me as a stay at home mom because I don't let my self be undervalued. (Sure there are those days where everything seems unfair and I'm at my wits end, but that's life, there are ups and Downs!)
Yesterday 5 kids cuddled up in my bedroom and we started a family movie, the baby played at my feet, and I folded a weeks worth of laundry. To be near them in and out of everyday (and I homeschool, so it really is in and out of everyday.) is the best gift either one of us could have. There are challenges, and we are not without our flaws, but these are the rewards...
I stood about 15 feet away taking in what I had just heard. I sunk into my folding chair and stared at my daughter on second base. I'm told a lot how sweet she is. She is thoughtful and kind. She is helpful and tries at everything. She's the kid that replaces the toilet paper when the roll ends. She's the kid that offers me the last of something even if she wants it. She keeps an eye on her siblings and never complains about doing chores. I know she's a good kid. But, when other people notice it, particularly other mothers with daughters aged 10-12, it makes me so very proud to be her Mother. It also makes me feel successful. I hear a lot about stay at home mothers feeling unaccomplished, unfulfilled, or unsuccessful. I feel very accomplished and very fulfilled. I am doing what most modern women don't do anymore. The stay at home mother is grossly undervalued. I'll paste two excerpts I've run across on other blogs here that coincidentally coincide with my thoughts of lately.
Men have their cars, women, their kids. It really doesn't matter what else a woman does in life, somewhere deep down inside, she will judge herself by how good of a mother she is. Even the thin, rich and beautiful woman becomes pathetic if she fails the motherhood test. (Notice I chose "thin, rich and beautiful" as the standard to envy and not "accomplished career", because that isn't even in the running...or how many girls have you ever heard say "I want to be just like Janet Reno when I grow up." Instead, we think "well at least she got to be attorney general".) -Retro-housewife blog
"Motherhood might be revered in poetry, but outside the subcultures that support the one-earner nuclear family, staying home with one's child is often considered a waste of a woman's talents and education. And although the women's movement declares every mother a working mother, I'm not so sure. Because, if there is no pay, no Social Security, and no time off, how can it really be bonafide labor. Unless. Unless you're taking care of someone else's child. If you're a nanny, a teacher, a foster parent--well, that's worth a paycheck. Even the federal government will pay a poor working mother's childcare provider to watch her three year old, but it won't pay that mother to do the same job at home. Evidently, caring from one's own child is not real work." -The Motherhood Confidential
I've said those things many times, I just could never put it into such eloquent words.
Of course staying home is best, but it's not going to miraculously transform all children into model children while magically making you feel successful. Then there is the college degree challenge. One could say I am only content because I don't have a college degree. If I had one I'd feel like my talents are wasted. Not really a good example since my father didn't have a college degree either, and he has made a ton of money and has run numerous very successful businesses (and some failures too.) I don't feel not having a college degree OR staying home is holding me back.
If you are a stay at home mom and you feel undervalued you may have a self esteem problem. No one is going to value us (although your spouse should-just as you value him!) on your pure efforts alone. You have to demand it. You have to pat yourself on the back sometimes. You have to appreciate your clean house, fresh baked cookies, folded laundry, home cooked meals, and beautiful children before any one else will. Society doesn't care. People will on occasion throw you a compliment for staying home, or offer you a small token of cryptic praise ("I don't know how you do it" and "I could never do that" is praise). Who cares though, it is enough to see the results of my kids being awesome, well behaved, well adjusted, "good kids."
Finally, Stay at home moms are not doormats or maids.
I demand being valued by my children. I show them examples of parents who aren't home and what that means for a family. I tell them I stay home because I want to raise them. I demand respect and remind them of who gave them life, who dedicates her life to them, and who does the 3421 loads of laundry a month. When I ask for help I expect common courtesy and immediate help. I deserve it. We talk about what it means that I stay home. We even talk about the difference between home cooked meals and frozen dinners/fast food. My family values me as a stay at home mom because I don't let my self be undervalued. (Sure there are those days where everything seems unfair and I'm at my wits end, but that's life, there are ups and Downs!)
Yesterday 5 kids cuddled up in my bedroom and we started a family movie, the baby played at my feet, and I folded a weeks worth of laundry. To be near them in and out of everyday (and I homeschool, so it really is in and out of everyday.) is the best gift either one of us could have. There are challenges, and we are not without our flaws, but these are the rewards...
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