Wednesday, August 22, 2007

August turned bad

For once I'm not worried about the laundry. Usually if clean laundry piles up in my room waiting to be folded I think about it everyday and sigh at night if I go to bed without folding it. I looked at the laundry tonight as I'm getting ready for bed and I thought to myself, 'I don't even care about the laundry.' There is too many other things going on.

This month is not a good one. I'd like to throw it back. I'm ready for the next one now please. I'm on the verge of that hopeless feeling. But so many positive and happy things are in my head, I just wish bad stuff would keep happening.

This month Ricky bizarrely had every wire ripped from our minivan when he had a blow out (and near accident) on I44. His car doesn't have air, so he was taking the van during this heat wave. Ricky is embarking on a brand new experience with graduate school, I can feel the stress and sense the toll driving to St Louis is taking on him. I have my own problems because I have been emotional, hormonal, and at times a bitch.

I told Ricky it was because I was ovulating. To which he replied, "You've been ovulating for 3 weeks!" LOL.

All in all Ricky's school is going good, so far. The workload hasn't started yet. We are both a little worried because this is not going to be easy. This program is intensive. He's earning a Masters of Science in Finance degree in 10 months. I'm sure he'll do great with the workload, but it's the family thing that will be hard on us both. His first day he found out he is one of 250 applicants for this program, 33 of which were accepted. He is also the only one married and that has children which was a fun fact. There are 10 woman in the program, the rest men.

So back to the van I got sidetracked.
I shrieked as Ricky talked to the insurance company about our van (twice now) for various reasons. Our insurance company won't fix it because it's a total loss and "not worth" fixing. It's because our van has so many miles on it. It's an awesome and well cared for minivan though, which is still under warranty. We are working on getting a new van. We have one picked out.

Sage (7) got very sick over the past couple days. Our relaxing Sunday at home turned into a trip to the emergency room. It's a long story but he ended up having strep throat and severe tonsillitis. He had near tennis ball size lumps in his neck (We thought it was mumps for half of a day). For me to go to the emergency room (we mainly did so because it was a Sunday so our Dr wasn't in) says it must have been bad. He was given an antibiotic IV in the hospital. Him and Layla (who insisted on going with us) were given Popsicle's and cartoons. It was a great hospital (Sullivan Baptist). They were very kind there. I was not hassled for not vaxing, and the on call doc was shocked Sage had never been on any antibiotics (except for an abscessed tooth.) The doc kept asking if Sage had ever had tonsillitis or strep before. I had to keep saying no no no. I can not, like many of us, imagine what it was like when people used to just get infections and die. I bitch about modern medicine a lot, but I am thankful for a lot too. I always want to make that clear.

What modern medicine can't do
My Uncle Doyle is dying of lung cancer. He lives here at the resort. He is in his 70's and the life of the party. I've never had a family member die like this. He is dying, and it's starting to hit us all. Death is bad enough but when you have to watch it... it seems so unbearable. He has 6 months to live. Ethan drew a heart breaking picture yesterday and handed it to me. It said get well on it. It had a stick person and a cigarette in a crossed out circle. It is so hard explaining to kids when someone just isn't going to get well.

Udate about my uncles cancer 8/23/07:
my uncle has now been given 30-60 days to live. The cancer is very aggrestive and he is worse than he was even 1 weeks ago. *Sigh* I felt like I was punched in the belly hearing that. It's starting to really become real now.


Anonymous said...

My husbands uncle, who lives up the block from us, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few months ago and given 6 months. He died in about 4 weeks. It was absolutely surreal. One day he thinks he has an ulcer, and a month later he's gone.......I still haven't really processed how that can go. You're told someone is going and that you have X amount of time and then "Oh's A LOT less than we thought". Cancer is horrific.

Anonymous said...

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