I'm such a dork for crying + Running into big families is it a sign?

I’ve been trying to write this post for 3 days. I’ve been running around like crazy. I’m insane for thinking I have any time for blog or website. It’s one of those pointless kinds of feelings lately. August was terrible, I kept waiting for September to get better, and now I’m here smack in the middle of the first week of October. Halloween decorations only half up, costume boxes got wet in the rain last night because I left them on the patio, and a huge tree *just 5 minutes ago* fell on our electric fence. Ah Poop. Yesterday I had Orkin come and spray for the fleas. Fleas exploded in the basement while I tried natural and not natural products. We had them so bad we couldn’t even walk to our freezer and fridge down there. The older kids have had to sleep upstairs for the past month.

Before calling Orkin I reluctantly fogged the basement. That was a funny ordeal in it’s self. My husband and I are down there early one morning passing up tubs of toys to the kids at the top of the stairs. We were trying to save some things from getting fogged. Fleas were all over us. I had a cream colored lace nightgown on and I look down and fleas are stuck all over me. So I took it off. So now I’m in the basement in just underwear. My husband is reading to me what to do with the can of fogger and we are setting off foggers as I’m running around naked. We told Charlotte to get a shower going for us. We pick the fleas off our legs and feet, and Ricky gets in his underwear and we race to the shower together.

So a day later there were still fleas flying through the basement. What a TOTAL WASTE. All my efforts failed, like everyone said they would. So, I called Orkin. Using a company that is “registered” or whatever for commercial buildings including restaurants and health care centers was important to me. They said they use no foggers. GREAT I thought! It was my understanding that they would use insect growth regulator only. They lied. I said I wanted no known neurotoxin. The lady on the phone flat out lied to me. I was given a list of 5 different chemicals after the fact. Some used inside, some out. When I found the invoice and everything they did I was crushed. I covered the house in sheets, blankets, and towels so the baby wouldn’t be on it. (That was necessary anyway for the flea stuff, that has to cover every square inch of the carpet. It is truly odorless too, which gives me a creepy false sense of half-security.) After I fretted over the invoice and read it 10 times, did a couple online searches I then broke into tears. My poor husband was trying to write a paper for school and he took a break to hold and console me. As supportive as he is I know he thought I was a tad crazy. He also knows I’m over a week “late” --so he figures it’s hormones I’m sure. (No I don’t think I’m pregnant.) Anyway I sobbed that we spend $$$ on organic food only to bring the poisons right into our home. I wailed on about how Penelope’s brain is developing and that some of those chemicals are known neurotoxins.

I have a (somewhat) happy ending. I called Orkin today and talked to the manager. Of course he knows all the right things to say like, pyrethrins are “natural” (a flower even!) and a main ingredient in another is boric acid. I wasn’t going to argue because it wasn’t going to make a difference. He’s convinced his product is just as safe as I think it’s harmful. I did bring up that he DOES use a neurotoxin, I really freaked when I read delta dust had been used in my house. It is residual and excreted through breastmilk,. What made me feel better is that not only did he act like he cared what this woman of 5 kids that buys organic food had to say, he assured me that his technicians are trained to use minimal amounts and spray cracks, crevices, and along water pipes only. They never use any baseboard sprays. In fact he said most of his calls are because their technician didn’t come in and spray the baseboards of the home. The whole thing has been just horrible for me. I can’t even think about the flea spray. They used some kind of pesticide that I am not familiar with in conjunction with the IGR. I can’t do anything about that and that is literally on EVERY SQUARE INCH OF baby crawling and somersaulting CARPET. Okay so maybe I am a tad hormonal. I’m also very fed up with a lot of things.

Anyway here is what I had started writing days ago...
Big Families...
I have been approached by three different women in the past four days in three completely different settings (one was 100 miles apart even) in regards to my growing family. I say growing, because are we done yet?

This is rare because I just don’t run into big families that often. Now in homeschooling circles, yes, sometimes. It's more likely. But the randomness as of late caught my attention.

The first lady asked me if I had 5 kids and she went on to chit-chat with me because she has 9 kids. The second lady was at Whole Foods in St Louis. She commented on Penelope in my Ergo carrier and said she had something similar 20 years ago. She is a mom of 11. At soccer practice yesterday I met another woman who has 6 children. I started wondering if I was receiving a sign or something. I love having all these kids and it is awesome seeing how they all have some one to play with (but that means fight with too! Lol.) I love having a big family. I love hearing about other people’s big families.

The three older kids are spending the night at my Aunts tonight. Penelope is nursing and Layla is playing with some cool Lego car someone else built earlier. I was just thinking about how quiet and calm the evening is right now. Life with 2 kids must be calm. (I barely remember, I only remember 2 wasn't enough!)I’ll take what quiet nights I can get, but I love my house full. I’m crazy about these kids.

The other morning Ricky and I awoke to one of the morning shows on TV and they had a family with 8 kids on. I said see it’s not just coincidence someone is trying to validate me. I’m not alone. But what else is someone telling me...